I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
