the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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