Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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