Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
