You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
