Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
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