do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
You left your phone here
Wait...
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