yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
