He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Randomize
