I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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