Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
