I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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