just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
