I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize