she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
