I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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