yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
