So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize