i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
