normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Randomize
