well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
