Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
