The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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