I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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