i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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