It's Friday. Sex?
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
