i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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