Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
