Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize