Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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