Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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