found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
