Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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