Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
