sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Randomize
