we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
