Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
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