Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Randomize
