Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
