Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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