I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
