Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
