Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
