just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
