so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
