So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
This gyro tastes like lonliness
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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