you turned your livingroom into a bong?
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
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