I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
