The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I just googled if crying burns calories
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
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