strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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