I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Randomize
