now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
