My pussy is not your playground.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
