i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
How's work?
Spinning.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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