Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
The beer is more important than you right now.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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