I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I wish life had little blips of pornography
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
