I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
