If that was your dad, he is hot
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
