is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
