Is it normal to miss your booty call?
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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