i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize