I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
