i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
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