we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Randomize
