Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
