How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize