I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Randomize
