the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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