Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
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