she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
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