The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Randomize
